


Collecting Payment

by AnselaJonla



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 15:09:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10310975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnselaJonla/pseuds/AnselaJonla
Summary: Collecting child support payments is a tricky job when most of your targets are bandits.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Just a silly little story inspired by one of the lines that you can overhear when Sneaking around bandits.

"Lying little harlot.. that brat ain't mine, could be anyone's... won't get one rusty septim from me..." the bandit muttered to himself. He didn't see the figure lurking in the rocks above the mine entrance he guarded.

Ragvald supressed a sigh and reached for his bow. He hated his job sometimes. He had thought that he was going to do something good with his life, that he'd make a difference. How hard could it be, after all, to track down Skyrim's absent fathers and 'convince' them to pay a few septims towards their own children's upkeep?

As it turned out, it was rather difficult. Far too many of the men he hunted were inclined to banditry, and disinclined towards sharing their profits with the children they spawned. It was rather rare that Ragvald finished a day without getting into at least one fight with a bandit who was trying to skip out on his responsibilities, or even just a bandit or two who mistook him for an easy mark.

He never _killed_ his targets though. Oh no. Those kids needed more than just a one-off payment for their mothers to take care of them properly. He just wounded them, took his money, and left. Sure it meant that the bandits could go back to attacking innocent travellers, but maybe people shouldn't be walking around Skyrim if they couldn't defend themselves.

The most worrying news for Ragvald, however, was the rumours of a Dragonborn wandering the province. This guy was said to be a mean son-of-a-bitch, and possessed of little mercy towards anyone who crossed blades with him. He was leaving shattered bandit camps and dead bodies in his wake all across Skyrim.

If this bloody Dragonborn kept this up, Ragvald would be out of a job. You can't, after all, get regular child support payments from a corpse. Unless... maybe it was time to think about hiring a necromancer...

That was a thought for the future though. For now Ragvald raised his hunting bow and took careful aim. There was money to be collected from an unco-operative father.


End file.
